Scan Results

Good news - NO new tumors!

Bad news - All three tumors grew. The growth is considered a grey area as to whether or not the treatment is working. It's more growth than they would have liked. 

Plan - Dr. Dude is presenting Alan's case to the colorectal team for their opinion on what to do: stay the course or move to a different treatment. We will go back next Wednesday to see what the committee said and form next steps in the plan of attack. No treatment tomorrow as previously scheduled while we figure this out. 

Thank you for your prayers. We continue to appreciate them. 

Lots of Conversations

As we head into a scan week, the girls and I have had a few heavy conversations. Tonight, as we were heading home from an incredible, nail-biting, down to the last minute TWHS vs. TWCP football game, Rebekah and I had our third deep conversation in a week.

Talking about school and how well both her and Audrey's years are going so far, I made a statement regarding how unexpected but wonderful this was in light of our current situation with Alan. In our discussion, Rebekah had amazing insight for a 13 year old, that I INSISTED she write down so she has it forever.

When she said that God's got this, I stopped her for the first time in a while and asked what exactly that means to her. 

"He is the ultimate plan maker and is working for you and no matter what the situation is. He is working for the long run. Faith is not blind. It is not jumping off a cliff and hoping for the best. It is knowing that the rope and harness will hold far beyond your weight and hold you no matter how fearful you get." - Rebekah 

I told her she was wise beyond her years in knowing that her faith isn't in an outcome, but in HIM and HIM alone. 

What an amazing testimony, my child! Cling to Him Always!

Treatment 4

We are done with the ipilimumab/nivolumab combination treatment! Alan had his final dose of both medications on Friday.

The appointment was relatively uneventful, as was treatment itself. 

So now the hard part... Waiting. I've said it before. I am not patient. In roughly two weeks he will have a new set of scans and we will find out if treatment is working. Then we will either proceed with nivolumab only every other week or find another option. 

Everything in our world is on hold until we get those results. We have plans but they are all tentative. We are continuing to focus on living each day to the fullest... with band practices, theater rehearsals, dance classes, church activities, campaign functions and as much quality family time as we can cram in!

Please continue praying for healing and peace as we wait. 

Thy Will

I tried to write this post yesterday and couldn't quite put the words on it that my heart desired to make clear. Today, I am praying I am conveying God's truth in the raw reality of my pain.

Last year Thy Will by Hillary Scott was one of "my songs." Yet yesterday, I could not sing the words.

I don't necessarily want His Will. I only want it if it is what I want. That's the truth. If His will is not Alan's complete and total healing here on earth, I don't want it. I want my 20th, 25th, 30th, 40th, etc anniversaries with Alan by my side.

What's awesome is that Jesus understands my heart that even though I don't want His perfect will if it doesn't align with my desire.

“Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.””
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭26:39‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Jesus gets it! He's felt the exact same! He asked for the cup to be taken. In the same way I am pleading for Alan's full healing here. But just as He said, "Yet not as I will, but as You will."

Yes, yes Lord. I ask for what I desire, but at the end of the day, week, month, year or life, NOT as I will, but as YOU will!

Lord, I know Your will is perfect. So I wait. I wait for You to reveal Your will. We are in this most difficult state of waiting. Waiting for healing, waiting for scans, trusting His will is perfect, trusting in His timing.

Waiting in trust and in faith...

Mel

No Way Out?

Ever felt like you’ve got no way out? Your problem is 100% clear, you just see nothing for it. Your problem looks bigger than your hope.

Cancer can do that to you. Been there, done that. But God fights for His children - I promise.

Back in the Old Testament, one hombre was there too. Dude was the prophet Elisha’s sidekick. He woke up one morning and his eyes popped. He saw a massive enemy army at the wall. They were surrounded. Outnumbered. Hopeless.

Sidekick did what most would do: He freaked out.

But it didn’t bother Elisha. He knew what’s what. He could see what his sidekick couldn’t - that God’s angel armies had already showed up in force.

“O Lord, open his eyes and let him see,” Elisha prayed.

The sidekick then saw what God was really doing. The hills were teaming with “horses and chariots of fire.” God was in the fight. Big time.

The Enemy was the one in trouble. Like the sidekick, we just sometimes lack the clarity to see it. It might be for just a moment, but the Enemy works hard to find that one moment.

Thank God for the men and women who’ve held our family up in prayer during this trial. They are our Elisha(s).

God will prevail anytime, anyplace. Expect it.

2 Kings 6:8-23

- Alan