Psuedo Growth???

Well after today's appointment, we know 1 thing for sure. God is at work!

Results

Two of his tumors have shrunk some! The third tumor remained stable! And NO new tumors! In the world of cancer and immunotherapy treatment, stability is awesome and shrinkage is even MORE awesome! Medically speaking these results are like the best possible! Alan, the girls, and I are overjoyed at the news. 

Plan Forward

Alan will continue on the single agent immunotherapy, nivolumab every 2 weeks for the next 3 months. After the 6 treatments, he will have another scan to assess the growth, stabilization, or shrinkage! Additionally, Dr. Dude (Morris) will coordinate with an oncologist at MDA The Woodlands for his toxicity checks before treatment, and we will only go to MDA Med Center for scans and results for these next 3 months. 

As all cancer patients and families know, while in treatment, you can plan for the future, but everything is contingent on the next scans. So we are planning for the future and hopeful in the 3 months the scans are as good or even better. 

Recap

Two months ago, the entire colorectal oncology team was unsure if the growth on the last scans was real or pseudo growth. Now they have concluded that it was pseudo. There is no way to confirm that. What we know is that all three tumors showed significant growth after 3 months on the dual agent immunotherapy, ipilimumab and nivolumab and now we show shrinkage and stabilization. Is that because the T-cells invading the tumors made them look bigger than they really were? Is it because they did grow but the treatment just needed longer to work? We don't know. What we know is we serve a mighty God who is in control and for now the treatment appears to be working! 

At the end of the day whether treatment works or not, this time or next time, always and forever or only for a little while, God is good all the time. You see we have faith that He is using our circumstances to draw people to Him, whether that is drawing us closer to Him, our girls gaining a deeper appreciation of trusting God in all situations, our families drawing closer together and closer to God. 

Recently a dear friend of mine's grandson passed away from cancer at the age of 10. Cameron impacted my life as many of my friends had children that went to school with him or played baseball with him, not to mention knowing his grandmother like I do. This young boy impacted more lives than I can count. Their family's faith is strong. 

Yesterday as I prepared to attend Cameron's memorial, I couldn't do it. Satan was attacking hard and my fear of the unknown and of what we would hear today was overwhelming. I've learned to listen to myself more. And to give myself grace where I wouldn't have before in this situation. Cancer is a vile and horrible disease, and I pray for a cure for all cancers some day. But for now, the legacy of Cameron and others that have lost their battle must be how Great Our God still is. Even when we don't understand things, even when the emotions are overwhelming, even when the fear is too great, God is always bigger. He comforts and wraps us up in True Love like only a Heavenly Father can. Doesn't mean things are easy, but it does mean that when we lean into Him, He will carry us through it. 

Prayer Requests

• The Gooch Family and Friends as they grieve the loss of Cameron
• Treatments will continue to work
• Side effects will continue to be mild
• Alan will continue to feel good
• Girls will continue to deal well with all of this
• Transition to Montgomery County Treasurer 

Reflections

Reflection... the last two weeks have been a time of reflection. Combining two of the definitions of reflection in Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary gives the true definition of what it’s been like: consideration of some purpose or idea that has sparked thoughts, ideas, opinions as a result.

Some of my reflecting has been based on the last four years (my time on CISD’s School Board); some has been based on since Jan 30, 2017 (Cancer); the final reflection period has been over my entire professional life!

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Starting with the most recent time frame, Alan is the same as my last post. His side effects from immunotherapy continue to be managed well with medication. The medication side effects that were cropping up are now under complete control! What a blessing! He was so good during the election. He was rarely at any early voting sites and allowed volunteers and I to handle it without him. It was definitely hard on him to stay away. Alan doesn’t like to not help anyone and everyone, but especially me! We had many volunteers from church and the community that came alongside us to help!

Today is Alan’s fourth treatment of nivolumab only. He and I will go down to the med center the week after Thanksgiving for scans and results. We are praying for stablity or decrease in tumor size. That would mean the growth of the tumors on the scans at the end of September was “pseudo progression.”

I don’t think either of imagined our lives would be where they are today 16 years ago when we were newlyweds. There is a reason marriage vows say in sickness or in health. At 22 and 24, we were impervious. Nothing would harm us. We now have discussed end of life decisions, have things clearly spelled out in wills, powers of Attorney’s, etc. This is not how anyone predicts life will go. He looks and feels so good, even we have moments of cancer not being at the forefront of our thoughts. But then we look at the adjustments we have made in our life and the mark of cancer is evident. It has shaped our lives, how we relate to each other, how we make decisions, and prioritized things in different ways.

We pray for Alan to be healed and this to be removed from us, but the impact it has left in its wake will be positive! Alan and I work hard to see and find the good in every situation, even metastatic recurrent colon cancer! As Pastor Larry has told us, we don’t know what tomorrow holds, but we know who holds tomorrow!

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Yesterday I presided over the swearing in of the new and re-elected members of CISD’s Board. It was my final act on the Board. 4 years ago I was sworn in with many preconceived notions and a plan. As I learned, what I thought about public education and what is real about CISD are not one in the same. There are always areas for improvement and I do believe that I positively impacted many areas. One of the most pressing issues of our society is manifested in our school children. We have a mental health crisis! And if you don’t believe that, you are like an ostrich with your head in the sand. This is not an issue limited to Conroe ISD. As a nation, our suicide rate in youth, our school shootings, our teachers behaving badly, and bullying are all due to mental health issues. When we have a breakdown in our families and we as a society do not have REAL hope, these issues go undiagnosed and untreated. Then the melting pot of public education becomes the place we’re they are all seen. Kids with anger issues, kids with self esteem issues, kids being harmed. Without treatment and faith, these kids grow up into adults with anger issues, self esteem issues and harming others. Bottom line: Hurting people hurt people! Find a way to help our hurting kids! Contact your local school, mentor these kids, read to their classes, volunteer, and if you see something that seems off, say something. Early intervention is critical to helping our most troubling cases.

I will always be proud of getting Harvey reappraisals approved, but my legacy on this board I hope is more about the mental health awareness of our students and staff, as well as communicating with the public about the business of the district and the education of our children. I pray this doesn't stop now that I am no longer on the board.

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This past week has been a time of major change! An election win, an office move, last School Board functions, Retreat Week with my entire BBK team! For the last 8 plus years, I have been President and Owner of Better Bookkeepers. I have enjoyed growing my company from the ground up! It has been a joy and a delight to work with amazing clients, staff and vendors. The time of me running my business is drawing to a close. I have an absolutely incredible team! I could not be more blessed to know that BBK will be in good hands. With the office move, I removed myself from the "President's Office" and am sitting in the bullpen among my bookkeepers and senior bookkeepers. It is oddly remincient of our first office space where we were subleasing cubes 6 years ago!

I love my business and love what we do with helping businesses. But it is time for something new, a passion God put on my heart! So over the next month and half, I will continue my phase out of BBK and my transition into Montgomery County Treasurer! Everything from my first job in high school at Family Christian Stores in Mesquite, Texas to running Better Bookkeepers has been worked together by God to lead me to this new journey! I am excited to walk where He leads in this position!

Life does not stop, even for cancer. The girls keep us grounded in reality while everything around us progresses. Christ leads our lives, our pursuits, and our hearts!