Attempt 2 at this post! My emotions are all over the place. Trying to communicate where we are without sounding sterile and numb is practically impossible. I feel like a need to express what's going on yet I want to click my heels and go back to 2016 - pre-cancer. Sadly I can't go back 6 years to before all of this. I can't undo the past. I can't parent my girls differently through cancer. I can't shield them from this pain.
The first attempt at this post was full of all the medical crap that I truly to fixate on avoid feeing the depth of the current situation. Bottom Line, because that's all I am capable of right now, tumors are still growing. The current treatment of nivolumab is not working. So we go to plan B. They are adding back in for four rounds, ipilimumab, which is the stronger of the immunotherapy drugs used to treat his type of metastatic cancer.
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 NLT
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Psalms 34:18 NLT
So we cling to you, Our Lord, be near and complete a miracle in your child. Protect our hearts and our girls' hearts from Satan's attacks. Shield us from more pain. Lord, heal my husband.
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