Close Beside Me

“Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

For you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”

-Psalms 23:4 NLT

You, Holy Father, stick “close beside me.” Nothing else could explain my life today.

Listen up, folks. The quiet confidence you’ll see in me is within your grasp, if you’re humble.

Medically, I’m down to a last stand. Two paths this could go – this last cancer treatment works, or else. 

Never before has Satan come at me with so much fear. 

Fear temps you to walk the wrong road. To puff yourself up with pride, acting 10-foot tall and bulletproof. To lash out at the slightest (perceived) offense. To push people away. Then in solitude, to soak yourself in daydreams of an ugly end. Finally, you “pull” yourself out of it with another, stronger dose of pride. All to start the cycle over again.

Yes, I have my moments where fear wins. But over the years, I’ve gotten to know the God who’s close beside me. And he’s closer now than ever. 

Who is this God – the One who breaks fear and brings peace? He’s exactly who Scripture says He is. 

God’s son, Jesus Christ, warned His disciples like us to expect tough times. The night before Christ went to die on the cross, he taught:

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.

-John 16:33b NLT

Christ gave it to us straight up. Life can bring the fear and pain. Despite that, Christ stokes us up to “take heart” in a savior who has already “overcome” the world. 

Christ ain’t sweatin’ the broken world; and neither should we. He’s already won. Christ knew, like King David knew, that God the Father’s love for His flock runs fierce. 

King David sang in Psalms 18 about a dire moment when “the grave wrapped its ropes” around him. He cried out to God, and his prayer “reached [God’s] ears.” Then it hit the fan. The “earth quaked and trembled,” shaking the mountains down to their “foundations.” God split the heavens and “came down” spoiling for a fight. 

The Lord “thundered from heaven.” War cry raised, God’s mighty voice “resounded amid the hail and burning coals.” One blast of God’s breath, and the “bottom of the sea could be seen” and the “foundations of the earth were laid bare.”

Holy Lord, split the heavens now. Come down and save me and my family from this pain. I know that, one way or the other, You will deliver.

My faith holds firm for one reason alone – I’ve built my life on Christ’s teachings. 

Christ promised that same steadfast faith and calm stability to everyone who’ll listen. At the end of his very first sermon, Christ taught from the mountainside:

Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on a solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against the house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 

-Matthew 7:24-25 NLT

Build your life on Christ’s teachings, build on bedrock. Floodwaters and winds will come, no doubt. But you’ll hold firm.

You’d fully expect to see me crumble. Depression, hopelessness, anxiety, suicide, broken relationships and marriages – all are associated with a long-running fight against cancer. 

Not my journey. Although I should crumble, I’ve seen God come through over-and-over again when I’m following His will. From launching a law firm without any clients, to my wife’s long-shot political campaigns, to mission trips led by kids, I’ve had a front row seat to some miracles. 

Every time, God did the impossible.

I’ve spent countless hours in God’s word, countless more in prayer. I’ve had the joy of watching scores of kids grow in their faith. I’ve loved on my own family. My life sits on bedrock, so keep an eye on what God does this time.

Don’t mistake Christ’s teachings for just another moral code. Christ taught that he was the only way to live forever with a good and holy God:

For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

-John 3:16 NLT

Christ’s death and resurrection alone make up for my sin. Paul cut to it:

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He cancelled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way he disarmed the spiritual rules and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross.

-Colossians 2:13-15 NLT

Every word of God’s promises has rang true in my life. I can tell you. Put me under a microscope and study me, you’ll see.

Then put God to the test. Trust in Christ alone to save you from the consequences of your sin. 

Build your life on God’s Word. The floods and winds will come, but your house will stand strong.

Locked Against The Flood,

-Alan