Wednesday, October 6, 2021

When you can't stop smiling or crying

Here we are 3 years and 6 months to the day since Alan's recurrence. 3.5 years we have walked this metastatic cancer journey. Some days were bad. Some days were good. Some appointments left us breathless. Some appointments left us hopeful. 

TODAY left us both - breathless and hopeful! 

We've been praying and waiting for this day for so long! Our God is faithful! Our God is never late! Our God always has a plan! Even when we can't see it. Even when we don't like it. 

Marvin K. Mooney - his three metastatic tumors. K was gone after the last scan in July!

Today Marvin has vanished from the scans! It is "imperceptible" - to quote Dr. Dude!

AND Mooney is "stable and probably scar tissue." And may always be there in the scans - stuck at 1.8 cm by 1.0 cm. 

After being told this treatment was his ONLY viable option to be here for the girls' high school graduations to now, there really are not enough words to describe the joy we are feeling.

With Alan having Lynch syndrome, we know that cancer possibilities and the chance of this cancer rearing it's head again are high, but for now battle 2 of this war is won! He's down to 4 month scans for the next two and then 6 months! Today, we celebrate battle 2 being done! 


And today, I retire my second hat and pray I never need a third. Counting our joy!

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Thursday, April 22, 2021

Security

As women we were created with a need for security. When the fruit was eaten, that desire became a potential area for sin. Our security as women is suppose to come from our relationship with God, the security of walking in the Garden of Eden with Him. 

When Satan tempted Adam and Eve and sin entered the Garden, there were consequences - gee, consequences for disobedience, novel concept!

The separation between God and us is the most significant consequence of all! Our desire for security can only be filled by true intimacy with Him. But as women we try to fill security with the nearest male we can find. As little girls, we have desire security in our Daddies. As teenagers, we long for boyfriends and tend to find security in those relationships. As married women, we expect our husbands to provide security whether that be physical, financial or emotional. If no man is in our life, we find security in our home.

Unfortunately men are just like us, sinful. Some fathers, boyfriends, husbands are not worthy of our trust. And for those of you that have suffered greatly at the hands of abuse from one of the men in your life, I am so sorry. I pray you find complete healing. 

OUR HEAVENLY FATHER is worthy of this trust. He loves you. He is worthy of our trust. He is our ultimate security. 

Four years ago, our lives were turned upside down as you all know. Cancer invades every aspect of our lives, as I have emphasized before. My security was rocked as we faced and still face cancer and the odds of death. 

As we moved into our home on February 3, 2017, my home became a large part of my security. It's been my peace and comfort - my place to hide away from the world. It's been where we have had incredibly hard conversations, amazing fun, fabulous laughs, teary nights and comfortable rest. 

Last night as I sobbed and sobbed about our present living situation, God stopped my tears with a MASSIVE reevaluation. My "security" has been placed in my husband and my home. And for the last many years, I have been walking in faith through this cancer journey but still not fully trusting God with my security. 

Yes, we need to have a place to live on April 30th and right now we still don't. But is it our residence that provides me with a sense of security? Or am I fully trusting Him with security?

So today I commit to walk more closely with Him and trust that He is all I need for my security. That our house can be gutted or in state of repair or all fixed, but my house doesn't provide me with security. ONLY God can do this! So no more tears, only trust!

Saturday, February 27, 2021

Four Year Mark

A month ago we hit the 4 year mark on this journey. I think I've finally accepted that this journey is never really going to end. 

My last post, Cancer Fatigue, was after many experiences that deeply hurt. Rebekah, Alan, Audrey and I have all been wounded over this past year by people who don't really get that we are still on this journey or that we still have these lingering fears. 

This Wednesday in the middle of the biggest week of my professional life, Alan got his latest scan results. Unlike normal where we stay home and spend time together and take the video call from there, he came to my office so that I could keep going up until the last second. 

Not surprising, Marvin and Mooney are still present. BUT God! Both are continuing to shrink after 7 months off treatment!! Such a praise!

To quote Alan, nothing but smoking craters. Lord, that's still our prayers. That nothing will remain of Marvin and Mooney just like HE has done with K!

March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month with Lynch Syndrome Awareness Day on March 22nd. March also ushers in preventative screenings! Please pray for great results on these tests. 

Thank you all for walking with us and realizing that this will be a life long journey for us that has and is continuing to shape us and grow us!

Friday, November 27, 2020

Cancer Fatigue

"Why does ____ not get it?" - Rebekah

This is a question she (and I) have had a lot lately. 

"Cured or remission are things I will never hear." - Alan

People hear that he is off treatment or that the tumors have shrunk and automatically think he is cured or that the "crisis of cancer" is over. 

CANCER will never be over for us. We will always wonder when the next active fight begins again. We will always treasure EVERY HOLIDAY, BIRTHDAY, ANNIVERSARY because it could be the last good one for all we know.

People are there when diagnosis first happens. They come in droves, bringing meals, offers of help. Family makes time together a true priority.

But over the course of a LONG journey, that is far from over, that changes. People that were there in the beginning go back to their old lives. Family puts less emphasis on time together, assuming there is plenty of time left.

There may not be. We are not promised tomorrow - Cancer or Not, COVID or not.

The journey we are on is LONG - Lynch Syndrome cannot be healed. We know that not everyone can walk this journey with us. We know that some are only with us for a part of the journey. 

To those of you that "get it" to quote Rebekah, thank you for living life with us.

- Melanie, Alan, Rebekah, Audrey, and Tumors (Marvin and Mooney)

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Never, Lord

 Never, Lord, let me take your miracle for granted. 


Two years ago, medical science said that I wouldn’t live past the next five years. But God got all up in the mix. 


MD Anderson is now happy enough with my last scan that I’m stopping treatment. Not cured, not even in remission. Those typical labels don’t stick to me. 


My “tumors” still show up on the scan. They’re smaller now and shrinking. My doc’s best guess is that the “tumors” are really dead scar tissue. 


Good. We’ll go with that. It’s a win!


It didn’t have to go down like this. Odds were against it. So yes, I’m calling God’s work for what it is - an unmitigated miracle. 


From here, we scan me every three months. If something grows, we hit it with the same treatment. It should shrink back again. 


While God worked on my cancer, he also worked on my heart. He’s given me peace. And patience. And focus. And abundant life. And joy. And an even greater thirst for his Word. And an active prayer life. And a painful awareness of where I sin. And a keen gratitude for the grace offered by Christ’s death on the cross and resurrection. And a heart willing to work hard for his Kingdom. 


Our family is forever changed. 


Massive thank you to all our prayer warriors. My wife and two girls are top-of-the-heap among them. Another buddy faithfully texted me a simple message every doggone day, “PrayN4U.”


What you won’t see in this bell-ringing video still chokes me up. It’s the huge crowd of nurses who insisted on taking a break to watch. 


My nurse that day was new to me, but I overheard him telling two more nurses about it. They said, “That guy? Oh yeah, we’re there.” God did something with my nurses at MD Anderson that I don’t even understand. 


What else will God do?


Holy Father, never let me take it for granted. You worked a miracle here. Let me live in light of it. 


#bthocancer

#straightupmiracle

#foreverchanged


- Alan

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Double Unicorn Family

Sometimes God makes things clear using odd circumstances, weird chains of events, random people, random thoughts. Sometimes God calls us to be champions for ourselves, our loved ones or people we barely know.

I shared again last week that my word for 2020 was gratitude. Well in the last three months God has provided lots of opportunities for me to show if I was going to stick with gratitude or allow circumstances to get the better of my attitude. I am so grateful for Him revealing definitive answers today after three LONG months of questions.

Please take into account with what I am about to share that the last five months has been in the middle of our chaotic world and a crazy, insane time at the County Treasurer’s Office. 

March 7th right before the world in Montgomery County and in Texas turned upside down, I ran the biggest race of my life. I ran a half marathon in less than 2:40, and had lost over 20 lbs in the past year. For the next several weeks, I kept running about 10 miles a week. Around the end of April, I started struggling with fatigue. As a person who has always thrived on 5-6 hours of sleep at night and still ran circles around others, I was unable to get enough sleep. I would sleep 8-9 hours and still feel exhausted. 

On May 2nd, I passed out at the dinner table, and Mr. Unicorn, himself, made me go to the ER. They quickly determined it was simply a vasovagal response to taking a big gulp of milk with dinner that pressed on the vagal nerve, causing the fainting. But they did want me to follow up with my GP.

For the next couple of days, I continued to be fatigued and experiencing chest tightness which led to following up with my GP which lead to following up with a cardiologist. The cardiologist really blew me off, but still did some baseline tests, all of which were good. 

So I kept pressing forward. I mean we were in the middle of crazy times, maybe it was just wearing on me. I mean, online school, new finance system, government shut down and mandates, who wouldn’t be tired.

When Mr. Unicorn went in for his sinus surgery, I was blessed with conversation and coffee with a dear friend who works at the hospital. After telling her all of how I was feeling, my heart rate monitor results on my Apple Watch, my exhaustion, lack of ability to even walk 2 miles with the girls, she insisted I get a second opinion and helped get me in the next day with a different cardiologist.

He listened completely and didn’t brush me off. He agreed with my lengthy family history of Atrial Fibrillation, that an event monitor was wise but also highly encouraged getting my hormone levels checked as well. So a week later I had been to the gynecologist to get levels checked, and received a wireless event monitor for 4 weeks. While wearing the annoying monitor, it was discovered that my Vitamin D was in normal range but probably not in the optimal zone and that my thyroid was suddenly low. 

As we started meds for those, I asked if we could check for anemia. I explained to my nurse practitioner, Ginger, maybe I was anemic too, since Rebekah was, but how Rebekah’s was found through her stored iron not her hemoglobin. The triple whammy of Low Thyroid, Vit D and Iron would definitely explain the now month and a half long fatigue. She agreed to test for it when we checked my thyroid in 6 weeks.

Rolling forward to late July, cardio diagnosed me with irregular PACs (Premature atrial contractions) and I was waiting on bloodwork results on the thyroid and anemia. 

Ginger was thrilled with my thyroid levels on the meds, but was baffled by my ferritin results. I was not anemic, as we had both predicted. Quite the opposite. My stored iron was more than double the high side of the normal range. She asked another colleague about it because she had never seen it. The only thing they could find was that I might have hemochromatosis. I had blood drawn again and started looking for a hematologist. The second set of bloodwork confirmed the higher levels were not a fluke, and my transferrin saturation % was actually at 84%, way over the normal.

Having now done a hemochromatosis DNA Panel, today I received confirmation that all of my issues - the PACs, low thyroid, the fatigue, are all explainable by a diagnosis of hemochromatosis. 

Gratitude - here’s where that gratitude comes in. The Lord was so good. He gave me a completely minor, non event really, in the fainting that got me more tuned in with my body. He gave me knowledge through Rebekah’s concussion about stored iron being a sign of anemia. And while I am not anemic, because of me being my own champion and having the knowledge He gave me, we found the root of my symptoms for the last three months.

AND may have found the root of my family’s history of AFib. Discovering this genetic mutation in the end could make a major medical impact on my life and my girls lives, by potential prevention of AFib. All because my body presented with symptoms early and I continued to try and figure out what is wrong!!

Thank you, thank you Lord for making me, Mrs. Unicorn to match my Mr. Unicorn! I love how God has continued to show Himself to us in the field of medicine and genetics. More to come on our now Double Unicorn Journey!!!

- Melanie

Thursday, August 6, 2020

My Word for 2020

Remains unchanged, despite COVID-19, despite online school, despite stay-at-home orders, despite being unable to be with some family.

On January 25th, I posted about my word for the year. Sarah Rhea, little did you know what you were asking of us at that meeting! I told you all that my word was GRATEFUL. That remains unchanged today.

Yes, many are hurting in our world. They have lost loved ones, jobs, homes - they've lost HOPE. 

Yes, many are frightened - of COVID, of government mandates, of losing their job, or of not finding another job. They've lost HOPE.

GRATEFUL goes unchanged because my HOPE does not reside in this world! My HOPE is in Christ alone. Without Him, I wouldn't last a day in this world without giving up HOPE and that's under "normal" circumstances. So yes, I claim GRATEFUL even after a 5 month Spring Break! 

2020 has generally stunk. I'm not in denial about that. But there is still so much to be grateful for. 

The precious time without nuclear families, game nights, walks, movie marathons - time most of us don't get between homework, work, activities and events. 

The conversations centered around the political and public health climates. Rarely do we engage in this deep of conversations on these topics with our teens. Hearing their thoughts, their fears, their take on how the adults in the world are handling matters. 

What is the word you chose for 2020? Is it still your word? And what can you focus on to be grateful so you don't lose your hope?

- Mel