Fear

Yesterday Alan had his standard 3 month scan. No Evidence of Disease, STILL! This is awesome! He is still has a pocket of infected fluid. He's on month 2 of antibiotics, with another month to go. The pocket did shrink another 10% since Feb 26th scan. So that's good!

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I thought I had faced all my fears. I thought I had conquered my fears. I thought my faith was stronger. 

Yet I am sitting here in my hotel at my conference unable to people anymore. I realize that I haven't felt this level of fear. I have a stronghold I didn't know existed until this afternoon. And it's truly rocking me to my core.

If you know my testimony, you know how The Lord worked in my life through family tragedy. If not, here goes. In 1998, a precious aunt to our entire family had a blood clot (due to AFib) that went to her Circle of Willis at the base of her brain. She lingered in a coma for 33 days before passing. We had her funeral 2 days before my high school graduation. I was incredibly angry at God because I didn't understand how He could take her. I spent two years hearing God say Go Right and I deliberately chose to go left. This experience shaped me because I learned God is big enough to handle my anger. (And I've written a lot about this in the past!)

Fast forward to right now. Cancer has caused so many fears to surface in me. BUT now I found my greatest fear. Alan's scans showed two blood clots in his lungs. Out of nowhere!

I am paralyzed in fear right now. My fear is one of these blood clots breaking free and causing a stroke or heart attack. I never realized I was scared of this. Completely and totally petrified.

Please pray for the blood thinners to break these two clots down. Pray he quickly gets into the "benign hematologist" at MD Anderson for further testing and potential answers because Dr. Morris's temporary PA couldn't answer anything we asked. Pray for my fear's hold on me to be released.

Confined Day 4

FINALLY!!!! We finally have understanding of why they want him to be inpatient, what the plan is (not sure they had one before our pushing back the last two days), and feel good about it. FINALLY!!!!

Dr. You flat out admitted to avoiding us yesterday because she had no answers for our questions. I love the raw honesty we have with her. While she and Ryan (her PA) were here, Kate (Shay's APN) came by. The 5 of us had a lengthy discussion about us and probably insurance struggling with him being inpatient with NOTHING being different than the last two months of flushing his drain at home, except for the nurses doing it instead of me and him working from a remote office and not sleeping in his bed.

Kate had clear guidance from Dr. You and us on what she needed to connect with Dr. Shay on. Dr. You was waiting to hear from Dr. Fournier. Kate came back after a little bit with better explanations. Dr. Shay will order another "clean out" of the cavity if it turns to looking infected again, like it has in the past. It will get done faster being inpatient than if he was at home. Plus they are down 5 ORs, so inpatient infections get a higher priority. They also put him on IV antibiotics to see if that will help it stay clean.

After a nice visit to the observation floor in the other tower, Dr. Fournier and Dana (his PA) came by. It was so nice to see them. This is the man God used to save Alan's life. We had been questioning if something else was causing the infection. He looked at the scans from November and December. And showed us, how the fingers off of the cavity have lessened and he is not concerned about that. BUT there are some air bubbles on the December scan that are close to some small intestine. So tomorrow morning, Alan will have contrast inserted in his drain to see if the contrast gets into the small intestine. He also emphasized the need to keep Alan inpatient with the OR limitations. The relief we both felt at seeing Dr. Fournier and knowing he was going to be looking at the results tomorrow was great. I got a HUGE hug from Dana as they left.

A little bit later Dr. Shay came by. He is pleased with the plan and very encouraged with the drain output. We appreciate his understanding of all our questions!

Current Plan:

• Contrast Test tomorrow
• Continue to watch drain output
• Fix any problem that arise
• Drain output changing to looking infected again
• Contrast shows a problem
• Muscle movement surgery (tentative for Tuesday, 2/6) so long as the previous 3 are all good

Prayers please. The length of this is wearing on Audrey and I. Please pray for our dynamics as we continue to weather this. Pray for Alan's cabin fever and that he continues to be able to put in full days of work while here. Pray for the above plan. 

Thank you all again for the offers of help. I still really don't know what we need. I told a couple of people yesterday that I am in full on manager mode. I am simply focused on getting done what I can for him and for her, first, then fitting in work, etc. Don't worry I haven't cooked. Although I have been able to delay start some laundry... Truthfully if I have a need that I see someone else can do I will say something. I did today about needing a small blow dryer. And I may end up asking for help getting Audrey to her NCL meeting on Sunday. But right now, I am mostly living hour by hour.

- Mel

Confined Day 2

Day 2 of Alan's confinement to P10! He's out in a full day's work from his newly organized remote office! Making the best of it!

Today was a difficult day of lots and lots of questions for Dr. You and Dr. Shay. I'm thankful Dr. You came by while I was there so I could ask my challenging questions. She and I have such a great rapport that I knew she would understand what I was meaning behind some of the words. And she did! Alan asked so many questions and while we got some answers, we are waiting on more before making some decisions. Dr. Shay came after I had left but Alan called so I could be involved in the discussion.

To be clear, there still is not any evidence of cancer but there is evidence that this infection has been present since December 2022 - never fully healing.

So this morning, Alan and I walked to the Observation Floor in the other tower and got him set up to work. It's been nice to have many of the same staff from 10-2022 working the floor, but also just really hard to be there on the 7th anniversary of his original onset.

This afternoon I picked up Audrey and had to deal with her phone issues, including trips to both Verizon and Apple. We can't have her phone randomly dying when at 80% for safety reasons. Now that we resolved that, this mom will feel better.

The bonus was running into one of my retired employees at the Apple Store! 

Hopefully we will know more and be able to share more tomorrow! Thank you to everyone reaching out. We all four appreciate it. And to those asking to help, sometimes the items are just so small, it's more work to ask for help than to just do it. 

Please continue to pray for Alan as he is pretty miserable being stuck there for probably much longer than originally anticipated. Pray for clear plans and wisdom from the doctors and for strong reasoning for us to agree. Thank you for all the prayers.

- Mel

Expect the Unexpected...

Yes, we are reeling... Today has not gone as as expected. We should expect that the unexpected will always happen with Alan. So it's another lesson in expect the unexpected in the cancer world of Alan Bush...

This morning, we arrived at 5 as expected and were taken back quickly. After all the initial sign offs, they took him back right at 7. And then at 8:30, the volunteer came to get me. She said the doctor was there to talk to me. I assumed it was just Dr. You, since her part was suppose to go super fast and easy. BUT standing there with her was Dr. Shay. My heart dropped. I instantly knew something was wrong.

In the consult room, Dr. Shay told me the infection was still bad. That upon getting in there, pus immediately came out. We talked some gross details I will spare you all about that. Then he said, "Insanity is expecting different results while continuing to do the same thing. Sending him home to clean this out via flushing the drain at home isn't working. We would like to admit him - continue to clean out the infection here and shoot for completing the procedure later this week or next Monday...

Amy came shortly after and I told her... amid tears. I just couldn't believe this. After a little bit, I got called back to the recovery room and had to tell him the bad news. Needless to say, while Alan is always positive, this was hard, hard news. He was disappointed and frustrated. We agreed to follow their recommendation.

Around 11:30 we were brought up to the 10th floor again... And then into the same DANG room that he was in post Cold Brew Shake-N-Bake. My PTSD went through the roof... like panic setting in. My heart was racing. After getting him checked in with Gaylord (yes, our nurse is named Gaylord), I asked them to PLEASE move us. Thankfully, they were able to get us moved, due to some magic my sister-in-love pulled off. Amy, words cannot express how grateful we are for you and your friends.

We've spent the afternoon, walking laps and encouraging others. Please be in prayer for the patients coming into our path. We are specifically praying for an introduction to anyone going through the HIPEC (his MOAS procedure from October 2022), so that we may come alongside them and their family to encourage them and walk through this journey with them. We know that Alan was placed here for this time to be used by the Lord, so we walk the halls of this amazing facility with that focus. Pray for Rebekah, as this is new and probably hard being off at college while we are dealing with surgery in the first place, not to mention today's curve ball. Pray for Audrey and I as we manage our emotions, house, animals, school, work, and this unexpected turn of events. Pray for clarity in where I need help. The few people I have spoken to have offered help. But right now I really don't know what I need. 

As a side note: Please also pray for healing for my mother. She fell and broke her arm yesterday. 

- Mel

Fix It Surgery Plan

So almost two year ago we found out Mooney was growing again. January 2022 through the rest of 2022 was the literal worst year of our lives to date. 2023 started off rough, we had about 7 good months and then October started this infection struggle!

Background: Alan had this infection previously in December 2022. In 2 months of draining, the infection was not there but the fluid pocket still was. It has remained until this day. It was showed signs of infection again at the end of October. We got the fever under control with high dose antibiotics and then on November 28th, Alan had a drain placed. 

Last Wednesday the drain fell out on its own. Which was fine since he was scheduled for a second (same type as 11/28) procedure today. Since he hasn't had fever since 11/28 and all his white cell counts were good the week before Christmas, we all were pretty positive the infection was better. But the drain discharge had still looked infected. 

Today's mission: Look around and see if all infection was gone and check how the tissue in the cavity looked. AND for Dr. Shay (plastic surgeon) to come away with measurements and a definitive plan for the Fix It Surgery!

Like most Mission Impossible missions it was MOSTLY successful! The infection is almost all cleared up! So for the next two and a half weeks, we will continue to flush the current drain setup to keep it from reinfecting and clear out any that was hiding during the procedure. Dr. Shay was able to form a great plan for the Fix It Surgery! 

Anyone who has ever been associated with MD Anderson knows that we don't know when yet but it will hit our schedule as soon as an OR is booked. Dr. Shay is shooting for the week of Jan 29th, but MDA is currently renovating 4 ORs, providing scheduling challenges for the docs. 

Fix It Surgery Plan: Dr. Shay will make two incisions on his left inner thigh - one near the knee and one at the top of the thigh. There is an ancillary one that isn't very needed for function, but is perfect one for this. He will basically flip it and finagle it around to fill the open cavity. 

This surgery will involve a couple night stay at MDA at the Med Center, then a 2 week period of no sitting, plus maintenance of two drains at home. After they come out, he will still have 6 weeks of limited activity. It's a great plan, and one we feel confident in. We pray this will resolve the open cavity left from the MOAS's removal and reorganization of internal organs!

Just as a reminder to everyone, my husband is a total stud! His doctors have all said the 1 thing he can do to avoid recurrence or anything new is to work out and eat healthy. During his activity limited time after the MOAS, you may recall him walking miles upon miles to get released and even after we came home. He was back at his preMOAS lifting levels prior to this infection coming on. So Alan is understandably upset! That this surgery's recovery time will have him out of the gym for so long. 

Please pray for timing to be right and for healing to go well! Pray for our hearts as 1/30 is the original cancerversary! Heading into such a big surgery that same week has the potential to do a number on us all. Pray also for us all dealing with such a big thing with Rebekah at A&M. Thankful it's just an hour away!

- Mel

Phase 2 - Procedure Day!

 So much has happened since October 11th. Starting around October 18th, Alan began getting a mild fever in the evenings. his days were fine but around 5 to 7, he would start feeling run down and come down with a fever in the 99 degree range. After a hectic 10 days, Alan went to Urgent Care and was diagnosed with a mild UTI. He started Cipro and we messaged Dr. You's team. We both felt like the fluid pocket in his abdomen had to be infected again. It is the only other time he had an UTI was last December when he had to have a drain placed again.

Cipro worked for a few days with no fever! And then it came back. Dr. You put Alan on high dosage Augmentin on the 4th. The fever went away around the 6th. We got an appointment to go speak with her on the 8th. There we came up with a plan to get Alan through Band Grand Nationals and hopefully Thanksgiving. 

Phase 1 was to continue the heavy duty Augmentin since it was effective in knocking out the fever until after Thanksgiving or whenever it came back. Thankfully, the Augmentin kept his fever at bay through the end of Thanksgiving. On Friday it came roaring back! We were heading back to our VRBO when he started feeling off. By the time we got back to the house, he was running around 100.5. With the nearest hospital over an hour away and not the best for his specific needs, we made the decision to pack up and head back a day early, just in case. Rebekah and I stayed up packing what we could. Alan's fever broke overnight and we were packed and on the road before 10!

Saturday's trip home was long, but mostly uneventful. Rebekah was an amazing help with getting the four of us, our stuff and two trucks. Saturday, his fever maintained around 100.2 range in the evening. Sunday, it came up early, around 1:30 but never got into the 100s! 

Today was Phase 2 Day! We placed a temporary drain in the cavity. Dr. You was wonderful as always. She placed the drain in a different location than last year. She had originally planned to send the fluid sample off to pathology, but today she felt that it was completely unnecessary! The fluid was obviously infected. While there she also found a superficial fissure that she assisted with that will require some nurse skills over the next couple of weeks. We will also follow up with her in 10 to 14 days.

The good news was she hopeful that the cavity might actually collapse on itself with this larger drain in place. The goal is to completely clear out any infection and remaining fluid. IF the cavity does collapse, then Phase 3 will not be needed! SO this is where we need our prayer warriers! We covet your prayers for the cavity to collapse. 

Phase 3 would be a surgery to move some gluteus muscle into the cavity to fill it and hopefully solve this fluid collection issue in the future. 

Right now, we wait on the drainage to either clear it all out and pray the pocket collapses. Pray for good sleep and quick healing of the fissure. Pray that Alan and I continue to be in sync on taking care of his drain and healing.

Grateful

Today was a good, good day!

As Alan posted on Facebook yesterday, 1 year anniversaries don't have a good track record for his journey. The only other time Alan has been "Cancer Free or No Evidence of Disease" was after his original onset in 2017. 

At the one year (April 2018) scan, cancer was back and has been with him up until the MOAS on 10/17/22. So this scan had way more anxiety than any other scan. The girls had been feeling it. We were trying not to worry. And even though our faith is strong and we know God will have glory no matter the results - We wanted good news. 

Well good news, it was! Alan is still cancer free. So we can go into the anniversary of surgery next week with assurance that he is good! 

Alan will stay on a quarterly scan schedule for now. The danger zone of recurrence is still high until after the 3 year mark. He is in such a small group of patients with his type of MSI High mucinous colon cancer that had metastasized to his peritoneum that we are very much in no data land! Because of this, regular monitoring will continue probably until the 7 year post surgery mark.

7 years post surgery... that we even dared to discuss that was incredible. Now we continue into Bandtober with joy.

- Mel