Oh that Back to Future Was Real!

Today as I sat watching my sister-in-law, who is expecting, sit on the edge of the pool while her beautiful 2 year old daughter and husband played and as I listened to the eagerness and apprehension of my other sister-in-law, who is expecting her first, I was overcome by wishing I could turn back time.

Being the first married couple of Alan's family, I've seen his brothers grow up since High School. I love them and their wives, and now my niece and soon-to-be nieces or niece and nephew. They are all amazing people. And maybe they don't feel what I felt back then, but...

As a mom-to-be, I was scared to death and wanted everything absolutely perfect. As a mom-to-be with my second, having lost one in between, I was grateful, but still scared. Feeling like a failure as each phase was difficult in a new or different way. 

Now, Alan and I are done having kids. We are the "old married couple." Granted his sister and brother-in-law are roughly the same ages as us, but their oldest is starting Kinder while ours is starting 8TH!!! So even though Amy and Mark have been dating/married as long as we have been married, we are the old ones... lol

Point being, I sat there watching Jessica, Kyle and Brooklyn and was overwhelmed by a desire to turn back time. Rebekah, Alan and Audrey played Marco Polo just a few steps from them and my heart ached. 

I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I knew truly that the small stuff doesn't matter. That it's not worth getting bent out of shape over little stuff. I wish I knew how quick the time really does fly. I wish I nagged less. I wish I had forgiven easier. And I wish I knew oh so very much. 

You see part of living now is realizing how insignificant so much is. That everything doesn't have to be perfect. That the quality of time far outweighs everything else. That I don't deserve the Mommy or Wife guilt I gave myself! 

Ladies, please treasure every second, even when they are throwing themselves on the ground throwing a massive fit in the middle of the store! Take a video, a picture, laugh and treasure it. Know that that tantrum means you are doing right and this will not hurt them. 

Take the opportunity to go on dates with your husband every chance you can. Because every moment is precious. And don't take just about the kids! Enjoy, truly enjoy, your spouse every moment you possibly can. Even when they are being pills, they still love us. 

Let the grandparents be grandparents. Yes, they will spoil them, but that bond is more important than you could imagine. Those grandparents can heal parts of your kids' hurts that no one else can reach. 

Oh if only I hadn't wasted time... time is wasted no longer. Because at the end of the day, we are not promised tomorrow. So I better love like there is no tomorrow. Some day there won't be, and I will regret that if I don't. 

And as I posted before, I am living with NO REGRETS!!